As I’ve said many times, guys don’t belong at baby showers.  In the event you are forced to attend such an occasion, let me help you out on the gift. Go to Babies-R-Us, put together a basket of stuff your own kid used as a baby, then write a letter from your child to the new baby.

Your wife will think you are the greatest husband in the world. You’ll get much needed brownie points. And all the other wives will give you the best compliment ever…”Why can’t my husband be as thoughtful as you.” (So your buddies will get mad that you showed them up…but hey, enjoy the moment.)

In case your creative juices aren’t flowing, here’s the letter I put together for my buddy’s baby shower last week. Again, it’s from my son Hugh Michael to his new baby friend.

Hope this helps!

Dear Baby,

Although I have only been in this world for 22 months, I’ve learned a few things that I’d like to pass along.

First, loving parents are really cool. They seem to think the world revolves around us…and, I say, let’s not tell them any different. Make a move, and they pick us up. Whimper, and they stop to see what’s wrong. There’s not a need they won’t meet…or a want they won’t try to provide. If I have one complaint, it’s that every day has structure and discipline. I eat on a schedule. I go to bed at the same time every night. We do exactly the same thing before each bed time. I think mom’s been watching too much Oprah…but dad says the structure gives him and mom more peaceful nights. Whatever!

Second, every stage of my short life has been even better than the one before. I went from an adorable newborn to a smiling infant to a crawling baby to a walking, talking toddler. The time mom and dad spend with me is just great. They’ve taught me to clap. They read to me. They take me swimming. They just spend time with me…and I like it. (And learn to say “mama” as quickly as you can…she’ll do ANYTHING to hear you say it again and again!) My mom gave your mom a cool Baby Book to follow along with your development…and track all the fun things you do!

Third, I hope you’ll enjoy the things I asked my mom and dad to buy for you. (I would have bought them myself, but my piggy bank is a little dry right now.) The crib mirror gives you a chance to style your hair for the day (like your dad does). The wrist rattle and teething ring are fun to shake and chew on…as are mom’s shoes, dad’s ties and anything else you can get your hands on. The wipes are the same ones we use at home. You can buy more expensive ones, but nothing is softer on my precious little hiney. I’ve also thrown in some mustela wipes…perfect for getting rid of that nasty “poopie” smell. The gum drop pacifiers are my favorite. We got these in the hospital, too. I like to put my finger in the little hole and nothing else will do.

The snack traps are a nice addition in the car seat. They keep me occupied on long drives…letting mom and dad spend their time in the car talking about how cute I am. The stacking cups are cool too…you can stack cups while your dad stacks beer cans during football Saturdays! I’ve also enclosed a bib…it helps keep the BBQ sauce off your clothes on a Saturday afternoon…’cause you never know when a babe might be headed over. By Sunday, you might need the Boudreaux’s Butt Paste. That BBQ sauce sauce moves right through you…know what I’m saying?!?! Finally, I’ve enclosed some of my favorite books.

Goodnight Moon is a classic and Miss Spider is one crazy lady! As for the Beginner’s Bible, it’s cool too. (Wait ‘till you read all the amazing stuff my buddy Jesus did!) And, my dad says your dad will love Home Game…he says it’s the best dad book ever written.

Good luck as you begin your new life and be nice to your parents. They’re the only ones you’ve got!

Love,

Hugh Michael